Sit down and shut up right now and listen to me. Listen to what I’m about to tell you: The PlayStation portal is a controller, okay? It’s a [ __ ] controller. It’s not the Vita 2. It’s not a steamdeck . It’s not a switch for the… It’s not a PlayStation Switch 5. It is a new controller SKU, okay? I need everyone to get this into your minds because everyone, listen to Tom’s Hardware or whoever the [ __ ] that leaked PlayStation X handheld. It’s not a handheld. It is a controller with a screen on it, okay?
Now, think about what that means. All you people talking about no local installs, no Bluetooth support, relying on Remote Play. It’s a controller, right? Do you have Bluetooth support on your controller? Can you plug in your Bluetooth headphones directly to your controller? No. What is on your controller? A headphone port. Same thing that’s on the PlayStation portal. Can you locally install games onto your PlayStation 5 DualSense controller? No.
Okay, do you understand what this is? This is a controller. It’s a controller that controls the PS5 with the added benefit of doing it in a different room. That’s all it is.
I understand that everybody wants a PlayStation Vita 2 and the next PlayStation handheld, but you guys don’t deserve a new PlayStation handheld, okay? You don’t deserve one. Look at the Vita. It came out, it was great, y’all didn’t even really [ __ ] with it. People kind of bought it secondhand, but when Sony was selling it to you, you didn’t want it. Now suddenly when it’s on the black market, you’re buying them all, you’re buying all these UMDs or whatever. Oh, it’s beaten for 80 [ __ ] dollars now, when you could have just bought them from Sony. No, you don’t deserve another one.
Another reason you don’t deserve it: all these guys, every time Sony announces something, everybody is in the comments talking about, “I cannot wait to hack this, I cannot wait to put emulators on this,” blah, blah, blah, blah. You don’t think Sony sees that [ __ ] and goes, “Oh no, you know what, never mind, because we’re gonna put out this [ __ ] $300 thing hoping to get our return, hoping to get people invested into the ecosystem, but no, y’all just want to hack it.”
The wild part about this is I know all of you. I know people like you. My friends, they have 15 different handhelds, all hacked, all emulators, all they play is the same 13 different [ __ ] SNES games and Sega Saturn. I know. And every time a new handheld comes out, they buy it and get hyped, and they just have piles of emulators. I understand that you want Sony to add to your emulator, your little handheld power. No, it’s not what Sony is in business for, your little stupid collections. Okay, get it together. This is a controller. It’s a controller that controls the PS5 with the added benefit of doing it in a different room. That’s all it is.