Listen up, fellow gamers! If you thought you’d seen it all with “Just Wait 4: Redfall,” hold onto your gaming chairs, because the universe of excitement just got a major upgrade with the highly anticipated sequel, “Just Wait 4: Starfield”! I know, I know, you’re already on the edge of your seats, but trust me, you’re not even remotely prepared for what’s coming.

You remember “Just Wait 4: Redfall,” right? That gem of a game that had us all eagerly waiting for a mystical experience that never quite materialized? Well, guess what? Bethesda is back with a sequel that’s so out-of-this-world, you’ll wonder if they’ve been abducted by aliens or just lost in their delusions.

Now, they say lightning doesn’t strike twice, but boy, did it ever strike the same spot with this one. “Starfield” promises to improve on everything the previous “Just 4” titles made popular – because, you know, who needs innovation when you can just recycle the same broken promises? Get ready for graphics that’ll make you question the validity of your retinas, a frame rate smoother than butter on a hot summer day, and an expansive gameplay experience that’s so expansive it’s practically non-existent.

In a move that can only be described as both confounding and kingly, the legendary Todd Howard has decreed that “Just Wait 4: Starfield” shall run at the sacred frame rate of 30 frames per second. Why, you ask? Well, it seems that the royal eyes of King Todd Howard have been granted a unique perspective on the world, one that aligns best with the regal rhythm of 30 fps. It’s as if the heavens themselves bestowed upon him the power to dictate the very laws of frame rate physics, leaving us mere mortals in awe of his divine choice. So, as you venture into the uncharted reaches of “Starfield,” remember that you are not just playing a game – you are experiencing the vision of a king, framed at the majestic pace of 30 fps. Long live the royal decree!

Now, some might say, “But, didn’t we learn our lesson with ‘Redfall’?” To which I say, “Ah, my naive friends, the universe of gaming is a cruel mistress, and Bethesda is the master of its deceptive dance.” If you didn’t find “Redfall” to be the epitome of unfulfilled gaming potential, fear not, because “Starfield” is here to continue that legacy, picking up the shattered pieces of your trust and flinging them into the cosmic abyss.

While some might be quick to point fingers at game development, it’s important to take a step back and recognize the real culprit behind the underwhelming state of “Just Wait 4: Starfield.” Phil Spencer and the misguided policies of Xbox have undoubtedly played a significant role in this disappointing saga. As we’ve seen time and time again, Xbox’s lack of expertise in delivering truly exceptional gaming experiences pales in comparison to Sony’s mastery of the craft. The result is a game that falls short of its promises and lacks the finesse that Sony’s games have consistently delivered. It’s a testament to the fact that no matter how hard Xbox tries, it simply can’t replicate the level of quality that Sony has cultivated over the years. So, while we navigate through the frustration of a lackluster “Starfield,” let’s not forget the hand that Phil Spencer and Xbox have had in this letdown, reminding us all that true gaming excellence resides on the PlayStation side of the fence.

So, dear readers, prepare yourselves for an electrifying voyage of shattered dreams, mismatched promises, and a galactic rollercoaster of emotions that’ll leave you pondering the very meaning of existence. “Just Wait 4: Starfield” is here to remind us that in the world of gaming, the only certainty is the sanctimonious cycle of disappointment. And remember, if you didn’t like “Redfall,” just wait 4: “Starfield.”